My last post was only 2 days ago!
I think I am writing more to establish habit but I do feel a bit of inspiration.
Something I did gave me a whopping headache this morning. I woke up with my alarm, somewhere around 7 1/2 hours of sleep, groggy and sedated but hopeful. I took a cold shower which didn't help much and decided zazen would put me to sleep instantly so I opted to make breakfast first, which is never as good as zazen first. As I made breakfast my mood declined rapidly as I lumbered around the narrow kitchen. When I had finally finished making breakfast at a record slow pace I just wrapped it in ceran wrap, placed it in my closet and fell back asleep. I had felt tired all of yesterday so I sensed something coming on. A cup of coffee or two after breakfast and I felt physically genki but the headache had worsened. I took a few aspirin and laid down for a few minutes. I tried zazen and within a minute or assuming the posture, I felt the center of the pain in my forehead come into sharp focus and get dramatically worse in just first minute. Abandoning ship, I took another aspirin, covered my eyes with a sleeping mask and laid down to a radio podcast, unable to move to much without further aggrivating it. Luckily it was 65degrees today so I opened the windows to get fresh cool air, cigarettes, and diesel.
Had a great tutoring session with a British friend I met here, who is level 7 in Japanese(I am 2 here). A long late lunch with two cups of coffee int he second floor f an oddly European cafe near Waseda.
I went to the convenience store(next to my house) and bought my favorite can coffee "zeitaku espresso". The Ojiisan working at the counter, who is always cheerful with a slightly senile smile always on his face, asked me how long I'd been growing my hair before I knew what hit me. This is strange because most convenience store staff fill the time you interact with them with rote polite expressions so there is no time to insert yourself or anything unique into the interaction(it's rather boring). But he sees me there quite a lot(it's next to my apartment) so it's not so surprising.
I got home, dimmed the lights, donned my bass, and played along with Curtis Mayfield. I had turned off the computer screen to maintain the low light, put on the Superly soundtrack(excellent bass tracks for every song), but then when an unexpected song came on, I realized my player was on random. I couldn't catch it very fast so I realized it was "Miss Black America" whose bassline allured me. I figured, I like this song too, I'll just figure it out by ear. It took 20 minutes or so because it's no easy song, but I felt my hands become light over the bass as I nailed the verse break and then the interlude bass solo. I miss playing music.
It's late evening now, I plan to make it down to the neighborhood sentou(public bath) where there is a hot tube with herbal waters which make my skin oh so nice. My rice should be ready and waiting in my suihanki(rice cooker) so now it's time for the exact same curry I made last night.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
skipping class to take back my time
My last post was Sept.18, 2009.
I'm not sure what I have to say exactly, but I am lucky to have this time again to say it. I'm not going to Japanese class today, I have two other papers that are more important to finish up. But they aren't important either, I'm regurgitating a few websites about a sociologist to form a biography and outline of ideas. I don't know if we even mentioned this man's name officially in class and we only brushed up against his ideas indirectly, even though we were supposed to have well understood them. This class is a joke, as are all my classes here. But I know I have to be a student here so I just resolved myself to get through them and not spend too much time on them. At least they are easy grades. But not going to class today, and waking up at 6:20am, a habit I have spent the last week beginning to cultivate, I am therefore fully awake, meditated, with a good breakfast and a clean room, in other words capable.
I had some extra time before I had to edit those papers. I decided it would be a good idea to play bass before I got started, maybe I should do this everyday I thought? I thought about how I spend my time and what I can do with it. The morning is a time of quiet where I can cultivate my habits and not be rushed to do anything. Just pursue thigns as I need to without any other demands or responsibilities to attend to. This is the time I always fantasize about; all those things I want to get good at, I just need to do them everyday! But where is that time everyday? Even waking at 7, I have just enough to shower,shave, meditate, cook breakfast, eat, dress, and pack my bag for the day before Japanese class. That is the minimum I need, anything less is sliding back. This life is like momentum. You have to cultivate it constantly or it withers and it's like an atrophied muscle everyday.
We had to make New Years Resolutions in Japanese class and I was reminded of a fun kanji compound I wish I could live up to
早寝早起きる
early-to bed-early-to wake
It has a certain emphasis when you can put the characters right next to each other, they become this one thing that you can do.
Or from Benjamin Franklin,
"Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise."
It's simple, it makes one prepared for each day, progressing forward each day, the sense of which is one of the most essential to living a happy life, that your activities are cultivating greater good in ones self and the world.
I know I am an old man, and I could still live otherwise, but I am frankly very disheartened I see myself as generally alone in wanting to live this way amongst my piers. Especially perhaps being in Tokyo where there is so much available that it's easy to cut sleep to make new Japanese friends and drink. Even my girlfriend chides me for wanting 8 hours of sleep everynight,
若い！ You're young!
Young? Does that mean simply because I won't die cutting sleep I should do it? Do I want to be grumpy, stupid, tired, and incapable all day so I can stay up a little later? It's a shitty trade off and I see no reason to do it, I am not a child anymore, I have to move into manhood. She herself sleeps between 3 and 6 hours during the week, but she has co commute over an hour each way and take the time to put on all the makeup the girls here feel they need to, leaving her little time to relax. I know the feeling, when you work full-time, when you get off you just want to drink, relax, and not do anything. That and she hate's her job she feels she's been trapped in for 4 years.
I know perhaps as an exchange student, you want to meet as many people as possible, practice your foreign language, see the new country and what not. All of which you will run yourself ragged doing. I guess I feel it's a little greedy and can easily be superficial.
When I first got here, every night I could, I was out drinking with the Japanese kids and most exchange students I know did the same, we were enthralled by the new experience, getting to use Japanese, and by how happy everyone was to meet us. I knew I was running on something other than sleep and food, I was running on experience.
All well, the diatribe need not continue.
I don't think anyone much reads this, but if you figure I owe you a letter or at least a postcard by now, you're right. I've been leary of the postal system, but I have a letter already written to send to my aunt that is long overdo, so hopefully I was soon overcome my fears.
Yours truly,
Taylor
I'm not sure what I have to say exactly, but I am lucky to have this time again to say it. I'm not going to Japanese class today, I have two other papers that are more important to finish up. But they aren't important either, I'm regurgitating a few websites about a sociologist to form a biography and outline of ideas. I don't know if we even mentioned this man's name officially in class and we only brushed up against his ideas indirectly, even though we were supposed to have well understood them. This class is a joke, as are all my classes here. But I know I have to be a student here so I just resolved myself to get through them and not spend too much time on them. At least they are easy grades. But not going to class today, and waking up at 6:20am, a habit I have spent the last week beginning to cultivate, I am therefore fully awake, meditated, with a good breakfast and a clean room, in other words capable.
I had some extra time before I had to edit those papers. I decided it would be a good idea to play bass before I got started, maybe I should do this everyday I thought? I thought about how I spend my time and what I can do with it. The morning is a time of quiet where I can cultivate my habits and not be rushed to do anything. Just pursue thigns as I need to without any other demands or responsibilities to attend to. This is the time I always fantasize about; all those things I want to get good at, I just need to do them everyday! But where is that time everyday? Even waking at 7, I have just enough to shower,shave, meditate, cook breakfast, eat, dress, and pack my bag for the day before Japanese class. That is the minimum I need, anything less is sliding back. This life is like momentum. You have to cultivate it constantly or it withers and it's like an atrophied muscle everyday.
We had to make New Years Resolutions in Japanese class and I was reminded of a fun kanji compound I wish I could live up to
早寝早起きる
early-to bed-early-to wake
It has a certain emphasis when you can put the characters right next to each other, they become this one thing that you can do.
Or from Benjamin Franklin,
"Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise."
It's simple, it makes one prepared for each day, progressing forward each day, the sense of which is one of the most essential to living a happy life, that your activities are cultivating greater good in ones self and the world.
I know I am an old man, and I could still live otherwise, but I am frankly very disheartened I see myself as generally alone in wanting to live this way amongst my piers. Especially perhaps being in Tokyo where there is so much available that it's easy to cut sleep to make new Japanese friends and drink. Even my girlfriend chides me for wanting 8 hours of sleep everynight,
若い！ You're young!
Young? Does that mean simply because I won't die cutting sleep I should do it? Do I want to be grumpy, stupid, tired, and incapable all day so I can stay up a little later? It's a shitty trade off and I see no reason to do it, I am not a child anymore, I have to move into manhood. She herself sleeps between 3 and 6 hours during the week, but she has co commute over an hour each way and take the time to put on all the makeup the girls here feel they need to, leaving her little time to relax. I know the feeling, when you work full-time, when you get off you just want to drink, relax, and not do anything. That and she hate's her job she feels she's been trapped in for 4 years.
I know perhaps as an exchange student, you want to meet as many people as possible, practice your foreign language, see the new country and what not. All of which you will run yourself ragged doing. I guess I feel it's a little greedy and can easily be superficial.
When I first got here, every night I could, I was out drinking with the Japanese kids and most exchange students I know did the same, we were enthralled by the new experience, getting to use Japanese, and by how happy everyone was to meet us. I knew I was running on something other than sleep and food, I was running on experience.
All well, the diatribe need not continue.
I don't think anyone much reads this, but if you figure I owe you a letter or at least a postcard by now, you're right. I've been leary of the postal system, but I have a letter already written to send to my aunt that is long overdo, so hopefully I was soon overcome my fears.
Yours truly,
Taylor
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