Found a new home

Adventure in Tokyo trains today, took an hour and a half detour by mistake today on a main underground line in Tokyo. Saw the police manage rush hour traffic; shoving the last stragglers into the already bursting train, making sure the doors didn't smash any fingers. Just showed my host family pictures of my family back in Ohio. My father looks like Richard Gere!
No sweet potato liquor and baseball with host poppa tonight, I came home late. We watched a tv show where a panel argued for which historical figure would win in a fight. Then, actors dressed as the two combatants and smack talked each other to charge the show. Sorta brilliant, really silly.

I had a bought of loneliness today. Since we arrived we were surrounded by the international communication club throughout our orientations; being guided from our hotel to the classroom, shown where we could eat lunch, talked up mercilessly, showered with kindness. But now we are with our host families, all very kind souls but 60+ and speaking only Japanese. I had to turn in my class registration form at Waseda(my uni here) today(They still use paper for registering classes!) and so I went into downtown Tokyo(Shinjuku) on my own. On the train, even as a gaijin(foreigner) with curly brown hair in a land of black and straight, people don't look, or if they do, only for a second. The only way through this experience is through complete yielding. We use language as ways to explain ourselves and maneuver through sticky situations but in a difficult foreign tongue you are defenseless as a child. There is no obfuscating or even basic maneuvering; I am an awkward shy manchild doing my best to exist in a world full of adults who talk fast. Seeing so many faces go by, none of which I could really talk to reminded me of the alienation I felt in Germany. It is a necessary part of the experience but it must be broken up lest I start to crack at the seams. My mind drifted to girls, that sweet floral smell of girls. Kasumi from the international club, who was my assigned "buddy", whose smile melts me that I find my mind drifting to over and over. Most girls here are gorgeous, all are dressed to kill, just without the ego.

I wondered if I should keep probing the feelings, whatever they were, with calm breath and open mind. I figured replacing noise in my head with other noise wouldn't really address the problem, but I eventually opted for my ipod anyway. It gave the feeling a nice flavor. Luckily I soon ran into my friend Grant who is also on exchange at Waseda. He's been to Japan before and is a real resource as well as a wise friend to talk to. I was very grateful, reeling in my mind in to address the task in front of me, instead of the nebulous abyss of my mind.

The subway mishap wore me and the feeling out and all energy was devoted to the very immediate concern of getting home in rush hour Tokyo.

Okaasan(host mother) prepared a huge delicious dinner, a whole fish, rice, vegetables from the garden, miso soup, and meat. I'm stuffed, content, and droopy eyed, now to shower and to bed.

In Transit, In Portland

Once again that sweet strong balanced coffee stumptown is flowing through my veins, back in PDX. Staying with cousin Greg in his cave of a house. I've noticed people in Oregon keep their houses pretty dark, I was the only one who would turn on the light in the kitchen no matter what, maybe reflex, but I swear it helps. Greg is stubborn guy, which means I either have to really challenge him or just hope his way of doing things will work. But truly entering into that dialectic I feel little sense of choice in the situation. I tend to trust people. From the wisdom of causes and conditions I know that all conditions, of people and situations, have apt causes, conversations that base their point of interest and humor around, "how could it possibly be this way, this is so random, blah blah." really don't engage me anymore. Sometimes they can be quite entertaining, to go nuts with deductive reasoning, but I know there is a reason, or a cause rather, and by calling it "random" you simply state you don't know while ostensibly saying there is no cause. I know language is about expression and I try not to be too literal, because I think people use the word "random" in their own sense, not the strict "without reason" meaning.
I had a good chat with my mom and vented some of my greg frustrations, I feel better. There's no sense in making enemies, I won't see greg for a year, it would be silly if I couldn't just leave on good terms and enjoy my time with him while I'm here.
Errands to do, I used my blogging time talking to my mom so I've gotta go now!